Burn out

forumBurn out
Nikkio asked 3 years ago

Hi everyone

My brothers and I cut contact with our dad after 20 years of his bi polar and anger and we still get rung at least 20 times a week…. I know that we are hurting him but he has caused so much damage over such a long time that we have nothing left to give…. We have tried everything over the years but just cant do it anymore…. he just gets obsessed with everything and everyone…. are we being selfish?

3 Answers
Michele-Northland answered 3 years ago

Hi Nikkio,

Thank you for contacting Supporting Families. I can appreciate how hard this situation with your father must be for you and your brothers and I acknowledge the support you have given him for 20 years.

As family members it is important to take care of yourselves and have the support you need when a loved one has a mental illness. If you are in Auckland, Supporting Families has a counsellor available for you to access free of charge to talk more in depth about your situation. We also have branches throughout New Zealand that provide free and local information, support and advocacy services for family/whanau.

If your father has a key worker or support person through the Mental Health Service you may want to talk with them about the decision you and your brothers have come to. They may be able to provide further support for your father.

It is important to reassess in any situation as plans/needs change and to get the support you need through this time.

Other services available to you are:

BALANCE – NZ Bipolar Support and Depression Network


Carers NZ


Need to Talk?

1737 – free call or text anytime to talk with a trained counsellor.

Once again, thanks for contacting us.


Nikkio answered 3 years ago

Thank you so much Michele

We are in the Waikato…. I am starting a program there tonight!

We have dealt alot with the CAT team over the years but im not sure how to find out about his case worker?

Sending yoj a big smile


Michele-Northland replied 3 years ago

That’s great you’re starting with SF Waikato, they’ll be able to assist you with who in the Community Mental Health team to contact with regards to supporting your father through this time too.
I wish you well.

Marina-AucklandMarina-Auckland replied 3 years ago

Kia ora Nikkio

Families can contact the mental health service that their loved one is linked with to convey concerns they have. Additionally Supporting Families has a branch in the Waikato which you can contact on 0800 732 825 for support to navigate mental health services.

Wishing you well on your program and thank you for contacting us.

Nga mihi

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